Monday, May 29, 2006

What's the rumpus?

Watched a Coen Brothers' movie called Miller's Crossing last night. Very noir. Gabriel Byrne plays a mobster who is trying to double-cross his boss, his boss' moll (with whom he is having an affair) and his boss' rival. Everybody is smoking and drinking whiskey all the all time, brooding and talking in expression-less voices.

Ok. 11 plot points you HAVE TO HAVE in noir movies.

1. Talk in a cynical, deadpan voice.
2. Drink whiskey and smoke.
3. Have a plan to quit the 'game' before it's too late and flee town as soon as you get the 'dough'.
4. Drink whiskey and smoke.
5. Fall for a woman who may or may not be double-crossing you.
6. Drink whiskey and smoke.
7. Get slugged in the face and be completely non-chalant about the attacker.
8. Drink whiskey and smoke.
9. Stare at a ringing telephone.
10. Drink whiskey and smoke.
11. Get killed while trying to do Point no 3.

Is it possible to make a noir movie without any of these elements?

Friday, May 12, 2006

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Now What Was All The Hullabulloo About?

Just came back from Goafest! Two days of advertising washed down with beer, vodka, whiskey and other assorted forms of alcohol. Actually, you can make that two days of scam advertising. Except for the NDTV, TOI and Air Deccan films, almost every piece of work was a scam. The entire print and outdoor section looked like the portfolio of an overenthusiastic summer trainee! I mean there were clients like The Corner Bookstore, Dr Malpani's Fertility Clinic, Maneland Jungle Lodge. If this is the case, we have a potential Phil Knight lurking in every corner of the Indian landscape. The Campaign of the year was a scam. In fact, one of the creatives on the campaign was gracious enough to mention on which single day the film was aired in which single channel. So at the end of the day it ended up being just like the Abbys. Except that there was no Scrutiny Committee. So everyone's scam was in the reckoning for a gong. Not just the ones blessed by Mr P.

The Advillage was a great idea! Great for hanging around, trying to feel cool, get that poor man's Cannes-like feeling, open bar, networking, tip-toeing up and thumping on the backs of unsuspecting out-of-touch ex-colleagues, pass around cell nos...generally feel good about an almost all-expenses paid junket in Goa. (All-expenses paid junkets are so 90s! In these post-recessionary times, they are only for the senior management. AAAI was thoughtful enough to have a special package for under-30s. Kudos there!)

The barge party on the first night was a bad idea that can be put down first-timer blues. Reminded me of Mohammed Ali Park during Pujo, Calcutta. The food ran out as the night went along. There was no easy transport back. Cabbies made a killing. They should have continued the party at the AdVillage.

The watersports on the second day was a runaway hit. As for the awards function later, it could have been better co-ordinated. VJ Yudi could not tell the difference between Hanes and Heinz and rechristened the MD of Leo Burnett into a Tam Bram! Gary Lawyer performed later. Good to hear a real rock show after the usual techno-shit that is dished out at gigs like these. LA Woman on a Goa beach sounded effin good.

The next day, we were flying back. So we all went looking for pickled pork sausages in the morning. Got pickled mackarel instead.


1. Kingfisher's come out with a bottle-size that smalled than the pint. It fits your palm grip snugly and contains exactly the right amount of beer for a hot Goa day. You swig it cold and finish it comfortably before the last few swigs go warm. It's called the Kingfisher Stubby.

2. A commercial for a certain internationally-renowned innerwear brand created by a certain Mumbai agency won an award at Goafest. Turns out the commercial is frightfully 'similar' to another one for the same internationally-renowned innerwear brand, but created by another agency in another market about two years ago. Expecting fireworks. Watch this space.